Im really depressed. Please help.?

aight so me and my *** mr.hale we be goin to da lifetime so we can get some and we was like tring to swim and these hoes was laughin at us cuz i cant swim. bruh i was so embarresd, i had no choice but to kill her azz with my choppa i had in the car. but you see the thing is i think im in love witth that ho now and i just killt her. im depressed that i killed tha love of my life. what shouldi do na, i need help please.